This statement was made to me at a time when I was pretty convinced that God didn't really have a good plan for me. Okay well thats not really true - I believed that He had a "good" plan, but I didn't think that it would make me happy. Its so, just.... ridiculous, you know? But this is really what I thought. I knew that His plan would happen, and that mine would not, but I just didn't think I'd like it! Not only in the large scheme but in the small scheme.... like it was hard for me to understand that refraining from certain things that God said, you know, NOT to do, was actually a choice that might make me happy, not just keep me from sinning. So, I was struggling with these things. And then I heard that phrase: "but if you believe these things, and you're not living according to them, then of course you're not happy. How could you be?" And wow, yeah, that was.... true.
So really though? Its so easy to forget that truth. Believing one time - that wont cut it. You have to live it.... every day. As soon as you think you've got it down, as soon as you think you can stop trying - its going to start to slip. This can happen in so many areas, not just with faith. What do you believe in terms of your work ethic? In terms of your relationship? In terms of money? In terms of your goals?
One thing I believe is that being yourself is really the only option. Facades - how can you maintain that? But at the same time, who isn't currently falling victim to one? And yeah, I think we're only victims to our facades. I certainly am. Now - this could raise an interesting question: where are the boundaries between being fake and being polite? Being fake and being appropriate for a situation? I don't think that its fake to speak to your boss/professors/colleagues differently than you speak with your friends. What about when you are having a terrible day - is it fake if you try and keep that from people because you know they can't help or just that they don't need that right then?
And that brings me to another interesting point..... back to the notion of living what you believe. In relationships, as most things in life, I'm a strong believer in the role of "fate" (I like to call Him "God") - and I believe that whats meant to be is meant to be. So, nobody is perfect. Yes this is extremely obvious, but yet I've found that accepting that your partner isn't perfect is so much easier than accepting that you are not perfect. But there are categorical flaws in this chain of though. If you believe your partner is so close to perfect (you know, if you accept all of their flaws and forget about them), then that would mean that you believe that some of their perfection must exist in their love for you - you must believe that they are understanding on some level, and that they wouldn't break up with you just because you had a bad day. But yet - your belief in all of these things can be pwned by your inability to accept that you yourself are not now and could never be perfect?
Okay but so.... that brings us back to the questionable line I was talking about earlier. If you are having a bad day, how much of that do you show to your partner? Well, it takes a lot of trust. And you probably wont find the "sweet spot" (well... as sweet as a a bad day could be) on that line. But really? Bad days don't go away. They don't have a limited gestation period in your life. I mean yes, clearly, the individual days are temporary, and what a blessing that is. But they shouldn't define your life or your relationship. I think the chances are that you analyze your own bad moods more than people around you do. Maybe I'm wrong about that.... I don't know. And everyone wants something different to feel better. I, for example, want to be told that whatever I did wasn't that big of a deal, that I wasn't being that crazy, that I'm not a bitch, whatever. Yes this is probably lame but... you know, I like to hear that. I need to hear that, I guess. What do you need to hear? What do you say to your partner/family/friends when they're having a bad day and might be showing you their emotions? Whatever you say or do... does it follow suit with your beliefs?
~fhl~
No comments:
Post a Comment